On being an ally

I have always considered myself to be a LGBT ally. I think my story starts with my mother. My mother is not always open about everything, but when I was a kid, she always had LGBT friends. I remember two of those friends most vividly: Pat (or Booboo) and Erica (or Steve).

Pat was a lesbian and was my mother's closest friend when I was a kid. She was always around, always bring over her girlfriends, always talking about women, and always fun! She was maybe my favorite person ever. I always knew that I could be myself around her, and I always felt loved by her. She might've gotten into a bit of trouble as the years went on--drugs and other things--but she was such a powerful force in my ally-ness.

Erica--well, Erica was a drag queen. I don't recall ever seeing Erica out of costume. I do recall seeing Erica perform several times during my youth. But, I don't remember much else.

And, of course, there's my mother. She's heterosexual, as far as I know. And, sometimes she's a little bit racists. And, frankly, sometimes she says things that I read as homophobic as well, but I don't think that she thinks those comments are homophobic. For instance, she'll refer to someone she sees as a "faggot." I don't particularly care for this word, but my mother is in her 50s, so it's a word that's embedded in her language. Even though she knows the negative connotation behind that word--oh, I've told her--she still says it.

I don't think that my mother ever officially said anything like, "love everybody" or "be an ally." Instead, I think she showed me that I should look for the good in people and that it's okay to be open to diversity.


So, what does being an ally mean to me? How can I be an ally?

Well, GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation--GLAD is different) says there are 10 ways to be an ally & a friend. Some of those are:
*be a listener
*be open-minded
*be willing to talk
*be inclusive and invite LGBT friends to hang out with your friends and family.
*don't assume that all your friends and co-workers are straight.
*homophobic comments and jokes are harmful. let your friends, family and co-workers know that you find them offensive.
*confront your own prejudices and homophobia
*defend your LGBT friends against discrimination
*believe that all people, regardless of gender identity and sexual orientation, should be treated with dignity and respect

Some of the other things that I think are important about being a straight ally are:
*to stay informed--read, listen to radio shows and podcasts, ask a member of the LGBT community
*support equality


This one is hard to iterate...but I want to make sure I'm always being the best ally I can be and that I'm always being reflexive about my heterosexual privilege.

xoxo

On life and death

Lately, there's been a lot of loss...a lot. Too much, in fact.

But, with loss comes thought. Among my thoughts are memories recalled. Many are happy. No doubt some are less than happy. Many require that I fill in the gaps of memories. Also among my thoughts are preparations for my own life and death. Live happy. Live free. Live love. Live life. Die happy. Die free. And, preparations....after life and death.  Cremation or burial: cremation. Resting spot: wherever. Some of my happy places are: the resting place near Bonham where John and Elton (my grandfathers) are buried, Starview winery, my grandparents' old house on Hwy 82 in Bonham (across from the railroad tracks and, now, a prison), the adobe house in Lake Worth where we met Gary and adopted him into our little family, Springtown (just Springtown generally...I was happy there)....so many happy places, but ya have to be careful disposing of remains in public places!

*sigh* too much loss. too much.

December Pictures

Ok, these aren't for each day, but it's a glimpse into the month of December!

The deer hanging out in our backyard (a.k.a. the mountain), as I look out the kitchen window...

I cut off the top, but here's our lovely christmas tree this year. Most of the gifts are for the nieces and nephews!

Seriously....no snow a few days before christmas--just this dreadful rain!

We had to get out of the house after Dr.B's semester was complete to work off some excess (negative) energy. So, that cue ball really got it!

A little christmas eve gift to ourselves...We're goin' to see the Stillers play in Pittsburgh!

On the walk over to the stadium. After parking downtown, we walked to "the point" and then across the Allegheny River. Yeah...it was a bit of a trek, but it was FABULOUS!

We were seated in row LL, which (in case you aren't aware) is the tippy-top row in this stadium. Yikes! The picture doesn't provide good proof, but we really could see everything that was happening on the field!

Dr.Blueberry and me in the stands! Black and Yellow!

I have no idea what happened. Some 70's song came on (I tried so hard to remember the tune, but I failed!), the crowd went wild, and yeah....terrible towels were flinging all around! It was awesome!

The ice skating rink around the christmas tree in downtown Pittsburgh. Beautiful!

I promised my nephews that I'd leave cookies out for Santa (even though they were 2000 miles away)...so, vegan snicker doodles, a cup of soy milk, and a bottle of Chanti--hey, ya never know what Santa will want to drink!

Looks like Santa had a darned fine time at our place!

And, apple pie. I made this early in the month--the 2nd of December I think. I was supposed to make it for Thanksgiving, but I just couldn't get it together!